From My Mind, to Paper, to the World
by BrightRhyme
Summary: A few months after leaving Cross Academy with Kaname, Yuki finds herself thinking about Zero.  Unable to speak with him or to anyone about her thoughts, she writes a letter...


**BrightRhyme: Hey everybody! This is just a short little one shot I came up this past weekend while I was stuck in traffic on my way to a short vacation, so glad I brought my laptop with me. Anyway I wrote it because as much as I love Yuki and Kaname, Yuki and Zero are cute too :D I decided to use some of the stuff that was actually said by Yuki in VK, it kinda adds to the whole feel of it. So anyway enjoy!**

** IF YOU HAVEN'T FINISHED THE ANIME OR READ UP TO WHERE THE MANGA CORRESPONDS, THIS CONTAINS SLIGHTLY SPOILERS **

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><p>"<em>You're not really a vampire… there's no proof."<em>

Zero…

'_If you really are a vampire, drink my blood Yuki.'_

I...

"_I'll come looking for you… and when I do… I'll kill you."_

I'll be waiting for that day Zero. I groan in frustration and put my head on the desk. It's been a few months since I left Cross Academy… a few months since I had returned to being a vampire… a beast in human form… a few months since… since I left Zero behind.

I often find myself thinking about him. Wondering if he's doing alright, wondering if he's controlling his blood lust… wondering when we'll meet again. I can't help but feel like… I betrayed him. I feel like maybe I abandoned him just when he needed me the most.

It had taken so long for him to open up just a little and now… I sigh and sit up in my chair, "Now who's he going to open up too…" I had never wanted to hurt Zero… he was already so broken and hurt when Headmaster Cross took him in. I remember how when he first came I had been so careful then, asking his permission before I did anything, I felt like he'd fall apart right before my eyes if I didn't…. he was that broken…

I remember how he yelled at me for trying to touch him with the hand that had touched Kaname… how he hated Kaname… how he never trusted Kaname… he'll continue to hate and distrust vampires because of us… because of me.

Because I left him despite what I had said… It was so long ago… That time Zero clawed at his neck where Shizuka had bitten him… I had told him, "You're all right now. You're all right… I'll be with you always, so you'll be all right." Always… so much for that… so much for always. Here I am, hundreds of miles away from him.

And how I had told him that I would be there to give him blood forever... that I would only let him drink my blood. I sigh and hold my head in my hands. I had made promises to Zero I couldn't keep. Promises that were broken just like his heart.

I shake my head, "What's wrong with me? Why… why do I…" No matter what these thoughts keep pushing their way into my head. I put my hand to my chest, "I guess you're still here…" I've been trying to deny her, the human part of me. I told Zero I had devoured her… but perhaps I missed a piece or two.

"You are so lost in your thoughts, you haven't even noticed I've been standing here."

I turn at the sound of Kaname's voice, "S-sorry, it's just I…" I look into his eyes before I look back down at the desk. He knows, he knows I'm thinking about Zero, but he won't say it, "There's so much I want to say, but… I don't think I should."

Kaname comes over and opens the drawer, taking out a piece of paper and a pen, "Write it." He then leaves me alone in the room.

I just sit and stare at the paper for a long time. I sigh and just lean back in the chair and look up at the ceiling, after a few moments I close my eyes… thinking. I lean forward again, taking the pen in my hand and begin to write. I just keep writing, every thought and every emotion that I feel when I think of Zero.

_Dear Zero,_

_I know you'll probably never read this… as I don't plan on sending it to you. Even if I did, you wouldn't read it anyway. You probably hate me. And how could you not? I had promised to stay with you always, but I'm nowhere near you. I guess always isn't as long as I had thought._

_I want you to know, I still think of you. I still worry about you. I still want you to be safe. And most of all, I still want you to open up and to smile once in a while. Do it for me… no, not for me, for the human Yuki. For your friend Yuki. For the Yuki who you poked fun at and called an idiot, who was naïve and would do anything to keep you safe. Do it for that helpless little girl that I once was. I would tell you to do it for yourself, but I know you well enough to know you won't. But I know you'd do it for her, I know you'd do anything for her._

_Zero… I can honestly say… I wish it could have been different. But life is full of twists and turns and I suppose this twist was unavoidable._

_Maybe… if life had taken a different turn, we'd still be friends. And maybe we could be normal. I sometimes wish we could go back to just being the guardians of Cross Academy. But then again, I guess that wasn't really normal. Who am I kidding, we couldn't ever be normal. So I guess, what I wish for is that for us to go back to "our normal". Yes, that sounds just about right. "Our Normal."_

_And finally Zero, I just want to say that. I'm sorry. I don't know where exactly this apology would apply, as I have so much I need to apologize to you for… but I am. I'm sorry. And I_

I stop writing for a moment, my eyes scan the words on the page before me. I hesitate as I tap the pen on the desk. No one needs to read this but me…I push my hair from my eyes before I begin to write once more.

_And I love you Zero. And I want you to be happy. That's all._

_I know the majority of this letter may seem like rambling, but, that's how the thoughts are coming out of my head._

_So before it gets any worse... bye for now, my dear friend, Zero._

_ ~ Yuki_

I let myself re-read the letter once more and I smile to myself, proud of myself. I look to the window, the sun is setting, "Huh… I guess writing that letter took a lot more time than I had thought," I go over and open the window, letting some fresh air in. I sit on the sill and just stare out at the world before me. I look back at the desk where the letter sits.

I get up, go over and pick it up. I fold it in two, kiss it and then rip it to little pieces and go back to the window, "I'll write to you again someday... and..." I throw the pieces out the window, a light wind catches them and takes the pieces away from here. From my mind, to the paper, to the World... I smile, "I'll be waiting for you Zero, so come find me."

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><p><strong>BrightRhyme: Okey that's it, I know it's short, but it's was just something to pass time :) I hope you guys liked it! Bye for now!<strong>


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